Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Aporkalypses & Pen Fifteens

Bring Your own Bacon T Shirt, $19
Get it Here.

Oh, it's a sad day for bacon lovers all around the world. However, the pigs are quite happy eating their expensive corns & grain while their owners are just waiting around for them to get fat enough to kill. The circle of life is sad at times, yet so delicious.

Reports are circulating that there may be a bacon shortage in 2013 due to drought and failed crops of maize and such. Let me get all conspiracy theory on you for a second. Who here believes in supply and demand? It's something to think about at least...

Personally, I believe the pigs formed a UN Ambassador Group and reached out to the Chick Fil-A cows for help. Now they're both saying "Eat More Chikin". They're even telling you to buy bacon flavored lip gloss and bacon smelling soap instead. You likey the bacon products? Search my blog for them. They shall reveal themselves.

Read more about the aporkalypse of epic proportions here.

Twitter is also happy to report that stock rose since the aporkalypse news. (I'm just kidding. I have no idea.) People are in a frenzy and telling the world about it about as much as I'm telling the world the IRS sucks for holding my rightfully earned money hostage due to identity theft. Anyway, maybe today Twitter's servers will be a little less clogged.

In other porking news, Jill Biden about gave America a heart attack by listening to her introduce her man with a plan (and pen 15), Joe Biden. Who's up for pen 15 jokes? Apparently everyone. Click here to watch the video. She looks so cute in the video, too. She's a classically pretty lady. Most of America will agree when I say Joe Biden's a lucky man. Is it easy to conclude that she's a giver? Probably. Hillary? Not so much. At least there was Monica Lewinsky. Chris Rock's "Bigger & Blacker" can sum it all up for you on his belief of what first ladies should be doing in the White House... Click here to watch the deliciousness.

As always, have a great day.

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