Wednesday, July 31, 2013

LOL & Grumpy Cats

LOL Cats

Follow Grumppuccino here!

Grumpy Cat votes for his favorite salon team here by clicking on the green check mark  ;o)

Me has a feeling he'll be disappointed knowing they're ran by horses and not kittehs...   ;o(

Follow Horses and Bayonets here

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Selena Gomez Love

Selena Gomez is legally allowed to drink alcohol, y'all!
So, for all you stalkers out there...
here is what our home girl has been up to lately. We've even included a Selena Gomez makeup tutorial at the bottom. Inspire your inner-Selena-ness!

Any who,
Happy Birthday to someone very special in my life!
I hope you have a wonderful day.

It's no where even close to my birthday, but I have the feeling I'll be shower singing this tune for like the next three months. It's really catchy, right?!

Cheers to beltin' tunes, bustin' moves & possibly dislocating my hip by slipping in the shower. I'm probably at the age where I should be installing skidders on the bottom of the tub along with a handle bar.
Man, I feel old...

If you're a Facebooker, 

like this photo as it's now part of our online voting score for Battle of the Strands 2013.

If you're feeling extra-adventurous, you can also click on the green check mark here to vote for our team.

We feel all the virtual, digital love & support, friends! I mean... not like virtual Carlos Danger style, but whatevs!
Help me, help you...Jerry Maguire!

Monday, July 29, 2013

Binders Full of Men, American Crew Style

Support our troops shirt, $20
Get it here.
So, I had the wonderful opportunity to chat with American Crew at the last hair show I went to & let's just say that horses and bayonets loves their USO line! 

I'm not a man, but I did test it out for a while. Furthermore, Mister Ed used up the 3 in 1 shampoo pretty quickly. I mean, you've noticed how large his derriere is, right? He thinks it's fabulous he can use just one product all over.

Click here to shop the entire collection.

Not only has American Crew donated over $300,000 to the USO, but also over $300,000 worth of styling products! Just imagine how many swaggy horses and bayonets they've helped out in battle. Mister Ed prefers to battle with his mane shaped into a Mohawk by way of their defining paste. He says it makes him look fierce & I completely agree.

Now, for all you man lovers out there...

American Crew also knows what people look for to put in their binders full of men. 

Just take one look at this runway, ladies & gents!

Woot. Woot.

You can also support horses and bayonets by clicking here. Simply click on the green check mark & Mister Ed is one step closer to Vegas. Battle of the Strands, here we come with our #SharksWithLaserBeams situation. Even Austin Powers thinks I'm dorky. I know.

Motivational Mondays

Well, cheers to another case of the Mondays! 
I'm considering changing Monday's doppelganger to Motivational Mondays.
Sounds better, right?

Whatever the heck is going on in your head, work it out because a hustler's work is never through. There comes a point in my own head where I either live up to my hater's expectations or live up to my destiny. I challenge you to seek out your destiny today.

Very Best Quotes
A wise man once said something to the effect of judge a man's true character while he's experiencing adversity. It's not so much about the adversity itself, but more about how you react to it.

Every day, we have a choice to have a really good day or a really bad day. Maybe you find me talking about this a lot, but it's also because I need to hear it... over and over again.

Repetition becomes habit & I'm so stinking sick of the negative self talk. Aspire to be better, yo.


I'm also sick of all the people that have nothing nice to say. If I have to hold my tongue to not be considered a nasty person, then you should too. Please note that no one likes hanging out with such mood & vibe killers. Who are you? Dr. Kevorkian? What exactly are you accomplishing? And are you working for the Devil? I like to live in a world where I believe most men want to be good human beings. Humanity is beautiful. The world is generally a good place.

No, you're not going to break me today. Today I shall not let my stomach issues rule me & I will accomplish stuff. Stress sucks, but from the bottom of my heart, I know I don't.

Also, should you find me a delight in some way...
please vote for me here & click on the green check mark to cast your vote in this epic reality beauty battle I'm competing in. It's an extreme hair, makeup & fashion competition called "Battle of the Strands". Maybe you can score some tickets to be in the live audience in October. Who doesn't love Vegas?!

My team = Appreciates it!

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

NARS Matte Lip Love

Oh, my am I feeling these NARS Pure Matte Lipsticks lately!

NARS Cosmetics Pure Matte Lipstick, $26
in shade Terre De Feu / Get it here.

They are so pretty for the fall season not to mention they photograph well. 

Call me cray cray, but I find it completely appropriate to rock a vibrant lip no matter what season we're currently in. 

One can never go wrong with classics, either.

Mentionable color choices that I'd marry 
right now if I could:

~ Carthage ~
~ La Paz ~
~ Montego Bay ~

Matte lip-loving shenanigans,

Monday, July 22, 2013

Mashable's The State of Digital Rights

Watch the Google+ Hangout Here...

What are your opinions?
Inquiring minds want to know...

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Thor Thursday

Woot! Woot! Let me get a holler for Thor's Day!

If you're anything like me & can't continue holding your breath until Thor 2 comes out, then take a look at the movie trailer for Rush. Online sources say it's coming out in September. YAY!

Flaunt Magazine, May 2011 Issue
Photographed by: Yu Tsai

Even if this hottie was to star in a remake of Barney the purple dinosaur, I'd watch it.

Picture in your heads the absolute worst movie, TV show, or TV commercial.

Now give Chris Hemsworth the starring role in it. Horrificness solved & Sham Wows with Oxi-Clean sold! Through the roof-type sales numbers achieved.


Wednesday, July 17, 2013

What the heck is... setting spray?

I'm chasing relentlessly trying to find 
my makeup remedy...
Why are you, my powder, causing me insanity?
And why are these products my clarity?

The power of setting sprays is this:

~ They set your makeup
~ Setting sprays make you look less powdery
~ They moisturize your skin
~ They're fantabulous for plane rides
~ They help your makeup routine by allowing the pigments to
    achieve their real, true pigment awesomeness

Can I get an Amen and Hallelujah?!

MAC Cosmetics Fix+ Setting Spray, $21.00
Get it here.


take a spray and sniff of MAC's Fix+ Spray.

Personally, I could inhale this all day long as its scent instantly gives me good, aromatic vibes.

Urban Decay's Chill Setting Spray, $29.00
Get it here.

try this Urban Decay baby right here.

It sounds like freezing cold lemonade perfection after
looking in my shirtless binders full of men.

Who doesn't need a cooling off after this summer sun hotness?!

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Healthy, D-I-Y Crayola Lipsticks

Lately, a lot of cosmetics companies were under fire for their lipsticks being cancerous due to the lead in them.

Because I'm classy, yo... I shall not reveal which ones in particular contained lead since I'd like to continue my career in the beauty industry. They know who they are and that they need to fix their formulations ASAP. All I will say is that you can search about it on Google or Bing.

Holy Taco!
The white one's for the albinos in your life...
Politically correctness awaits! $2.49 / pack
Get them here.

Any who, there are some great D-I-Y recipes using Crayola crayons that you might like to try instead as Crayolas are, and always have been, non-toxic.

Not to mention you can make your own fab colors by breaking them into halves or thirds. Rock on with the customization madness!

You can even add some shimmer or frost by adding some of your favorite loose powder sparkly eyeshadow shades or MAC pigments. The possibilities are endless.

Going along with the Crayola love,
here are my tips & tricks to really spruce up these recipes:

Z-Palette's empty metal pans, 10 for $4.00
Cheaper if you buy more, friends!
Get them here.
  • If using your old tubes to pour your new custom colors in, rubbing alcohol does the trick to sanitize the inners & outers of the tubes. It will also allow you to take off any remaining waxy residue left from your prior lippiness. Lipstick or lip balm tubes work great.
  • If you want to palette yourself up, Z-Palette sells empty metal pans which you can pour your lippy liquid into. Not to mention, you can also buy a Z-Palette in several different sizes to fit your custom Crayola color collection. If you're a pro-makeup artist, apply at for the Pro-MUA discount for your Z-Palette. You do have to get the metal pans from Z-Palette.
  • Tins from like Altoids or littler like the Victoria's Secret mints work well if you're more of a tub kind of lip girl. Reduce, reuse & recycle, yo.
  • I'm no genius, but possibly team up with a friend to make these since there might be overage. Plus, great minds think alike & you and your bestie can come up with fabulous names for your colors. Not to mention it's fun!
  • Obviously essential oils are fabulous for scent and sometimes flavor, but simply buy some lip balm sweetener and you too can lick your lips to death, therefore needing more balm. The founder and owner at the Department of Redundancy Department suggested I make a flow chart as to how this sweet chapped lip overkill occurs, but honestly his version never stinking ends. There is such a thing as being addicted to lip gloss. For real. Any who, most recipes use stevia as their sweetener of choice.
  • Should you decide to glitter it up, keep in mind that there is a difference in glitter. Don't use regular sized as it will most likely feel like big chunks or grainy sand on your lips. You'll want to use cosmetic grade glitter, which is ground up smaller. You can get it here or here.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Questions I ask myself

Since I'm so unpopular that no one interviews me, I'm asking questions to myself... and then answering them. Don't laugh now.
What got you into the makeup industry? People that know me well know I love products. I grew up loving to watch TV commercials just as much as the regular shows. My mom says I'd even memorize them. I used to not wear a lot of makeup in high school, but college came along and everything changed. My girlfriends and I used to have girl get-togethers before we'd go out to clubs & bars. Eventually they started lining up for me to do their makeup & someone said I was so good I should consider doing it professionally. So, in fact, I did. Thanks, friends!

What's the weirdest job you've ever had? I was a Coyote. Drinking on the job was a fabulous job perk. However, I'm still trying to figure out if  having to dance in a small straight line while not knocking over drinks proves to be a useful job skill.

What do you want in life? That's a great question & if you've got a great answer, please feel free to elaborate your recommendations. I want the same things I think everyone does. Basically stated, I want happiness. I want real, true love that breeds respect & admiration. I've had enough disappointment for ten people's lifetimes. I don't want to have to worry about paying for little things. I want my kids to grow up being successful, well rounded, down to earth and happy. Eventually I'd like to volunteer my time doing something charitable for a good cause. Some people are so self absorbed. I'm a fairly creative person so I'd enjoy contributing to society with this skill in mind. Something in makeup, blogging, social media, writing, advertising, marketing, comedy or acting would be the bee's knees. Me likeys to teach people as well. Enough about me... what do you want? I love to inspire people. Haters suck the life force out of society's life saber.
Where would you ever consider moving to? I was born in Chicago & reside in Flo Rida. No, not in the rapper... the actual state. Keep in mind that where I live in Florida ain't exactly considered a major fashion, modeling & makeup hub of the world. At this point, I'd consider anywhere that pays me well, or at all. Despite the earthquake nonsense, California could be enticing. Us Flo Riders like the beach.

What's a common motherhood misconception? I remember Christina Aguilera getting interviewed on the topic. I'll never forget the lovely interview. It went something along the lines of what I'm about to touch on. Also, rock on NickMom! Just because you have kids doesn't mean you can't be who you are. It's important to not forget the fun-loving pre-kid you. It's common to obsess & deem things off limits when you first become a mom. Then one day, years later it's like you're waking up from a bad relationship. You can see the old reflection of you and who you used to be and ultimately you get depressed. Guess what? You can still be you! Shocker, I know... but you've got to work at reclaiming it. If you don't play the lotto, you'll never win. It takes some effort on your depressed mom end to make yourself fabulous again. Maybe make it a point to call some friends you used to hang out with or actually try wearing some new mascara and lip gloss again, even if you're just inside doing dishes all day. Talk to your doctor. Pick back up some hobbies you used to enjoy. If we don't claim our fabulousness now, what are we really teaching our kids? I don't know about you, but I want my kids to have a strong sense of self. The world is a bitter place where big girl panties must be worn. Do whatever you need to in order to be happy again. I've cried for weeks on end before with images of a restful, peaceful sleep dancing in my head. Obviously it wasn't one of my best moments & I'd feel so bad if I ever somehow encouraged my kids to grow up expecting this sad behavior out of themselves or their relationships. Also, here's another mom PSA... there will always be moms who do it better than you who exist to judge us and make us hate ourselves meanwhile doubting our abilities. Keep that in mind. Nick mom calls it being "other-mothered"...

Why are you so unclassy on the Internet? Actually, if I had to classify it as anything it would be eloquently sarcastic. Any who, how I write or Twitter is not how I actually talk in real life or in front of my kids, friends. Words are just words. Gotta' love journalism. Who really knows whether you're writing fiction or fact anyway? Don't judge me on my Twitters. They're meant to be funny. Once my kids can figure out how to access my blog or these accounts, I might do some editing but until then you've got me... reclaiming my mom-independence ;o)
Why so little YouTube? This is really simple. In this economy, I can't afford a camera. Do you not live on Planet Earth amongst me?! I actually do have a channel, but I'm such a perfectionist I need some good equipment... or any equipment at all. A stupid, built in, crappy web cam on my broken laptop doesn't solve this situation. At least if I die tomorrow I can cross video editing skills and YouTube channel off my bucket list. Amen.

Monday, July 8, 2013

I see you, baby...

That's some ecard!

Ya' know, I don't even want to comment about the NSA or the government spying on us.

However, since they can technically already see me typing whatevs on my computer du jour... what can it hurt? It's not like I don't do social media. If the government really wanted to know what un-interesting me is up to, then so be it. Surely they know Mister Ed is a Master Baiter. Oh, get your minds out of the gutter. He's a pro-fisherman, don't cha' know? Due to the unfair attachment of bayonets to his head, he prefers spear fishing for obvious reasons. Sometimes when casting the line, he gets it caught in his mane tail feathers. I've been pleading with him to stop the twerking. It's so embarrassing...

Liberty Maniacs

There are a few things that come to mind that I'd like to voice to our government, though.

~ The partisan-ness needs to stop! Can't we all just be Americans, gosh darn it all?! Nothing gets done and all our taxpayer dollars are paying for it. Duh. Too extreme in anything is bad news. Let's meet in the middle & rally around our Constitution. Libertarians unite... Ya' know, probably back in the day our founding fathers wanted the human race to continue sans the whole killing each other part. Which leads me into the next bullet point...

~ I heard somewhere that younger generations think that gay marriage is an equal rights issue. You, sir, are correct. The last time I checked there was this thing called "separation of church and state". Otherwise, what's the harm in my kid praying at school? Geez. I don't even care if you disagree religiously because that indeed, is not the point. Just because we allow rainbow marriages in this country, I don't personally think it's going to turn my kids gay. Even if it did, I'd love and support them nonetheless. Then we could have awesome conversations, they'd be my best friend & give me fabulous fashion advice. God doesn't preach hate in the edition of the Bible that I read. We allow every religion under the sun in this country. At this point in the evolution process, it's whatevs. Seriously. It might not be how I roll personally, but I can respect & love you just like a healthy political debate. You deserve love & happiness just like everyone else. I'm willing to put money on the fact that the gay divorce ratio is much, much less than our hetero homies. Us man / woman relationships have been ruining the sacrament of marriage since... well, Adam & Eve. Men simply don't understand us women with a brain. Put the toilet seat down & for argument's sake buy toothpaste with a flippable, attached lid & we're good to move on to the next topic...

~ Maybe you can work a few more days a year, rather than being out of session. That would be great, mmmkay?

~ Make me some money! Get our interest rates back up & let's focus on this economy, for the love of all things holy. I'm over here trying to make a family and stuff. I'm still trying to work on a career and such. A mortgage is in my future. I know it. Oh well. I suppose if my family can make it through this long rough patch, we may end up being extremely successful, errrr.... this is what I'm banking on & hoping for at least. It's way better to be optimistic rather than all "Woe is me". No, I don't feel sorry for you because I'm going through the exact same thing. The public PSA for the day is that bloggers don't make money when they first start out. This is truth, peeps.

~ Allow me to play Devil's advocate on the right to bear arms. For me, I'm more a right to bare Michelle Obama arms, but whatevs. Muscles are hot while anorexics are not! A burglary recently happened really close to my house while a child was home & you better believe I'm checking into pistol packing, concealed weapons permits & the whole nine yards. In the infantry, a.k.a. the front lines, I can see why you'd want an oozie & horses and bayonets & muskets & militias. The more the merrier to defend our precious freedom. However, I agree that the general public doesn't need access to automatic weaponry or magazine clips carrying 500 rounds. If you're packing for defense purposes, one or two shots in your perpetrator does the trick. Any thing more & I consider you cray cray. You, sir, if you're shooting deer in the wilderness with a machine gun... you got problems, bro. Political Humor

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

The Best Digital Media Business Advice

I'm not a spider. 
If I was, I would undoubtedly look like this...

Ummm... like....
if I were indeed a man with Channing Tatum type moves.

Any who, web spiders and web crawlers do exist & if you're not careful they will either bite you in your search engine optimization butt, or will they? Technically, we can't see them. This is fact, people. Not to mention their algorithms change all the time.

Did I already lose you at hello? First, let's start off in the Spiderman Saga when plain old Peter Parker existed. Back in the day, Peter Parker only knew print media. Ya' know... printed stuff.
Now thanks to the spider bite, we have these things called the Internets (per George Bush). The Internet grows like a spider web via links (a.k.a. hyperlinks), articles, social media sites, blogs, websites & impressions.

So, now you're all like "Hey, Peter Parker! I'm new around these parts. How can my business get bitten by these infamous spidery web crawlery things? I, too, want to move up the ranks to get on the first page during a Google search."

Friends, the key to moving up organically (meaning "free") in the ranks is to be mindful of these venomous spiders. If you're paying for ad words, that's fine. Personally, I try to not pay for anything as it decreases my bottom line. Spiders and web crawlers are instructed to search for fresh content and meta tags. I read a statistic the other day that 44% of all web searches are considered "new" a.k.a. something some one's never ever considered searching before with regards to the terms. To get this down to a science would require you paying a boat load of money in ad words that to you, sound ridiculous at the very least.

You want my advice? 

  1. Be up front with any bloggers that write articles for you. There are things bloggers can do with labels and tags on the back end of their blogging platform which can optimize the article to match what you're paying for in ad words.
  2. I'm no algorithm, but also mentioning your key words or ad words in an article at least five times increases your chances.
  3. Generally speaking, I know several small businesses who don't even have a website yet. Start a website!
  4. Start a blog. Open up a "Blog" page tab from your business website & watch the magic happen. Even if you can't write daily on your business blog, at least come up with a schedule for your marketing efforts and then stick to it. So many businesses never touch their website or even update it. You know what? Outdated information becomes confusing to your customer. Bottom line. Not to mention, new blog posts get the venomous spiders to "crawl" on your site.
  5. Pick your favorite social media sites and become a beast on them. Permanently coding hashtags relating to the ad words you're paying for will make you Spiderman. Oh, you're on Twitter? Put those key words in your profile, yo. Better yet, start associating yourself with other hashtags. Think of it like a game. Here's what goes through my mind... oooh, such and such is trending. Let me hashtag tweet that with a funny pic & then drop my hashtag as well. You, sir, stand a chance of getting re-tweeted & you socially associate yourself with the trendy coolness. Things go viral sometimes in seconds. Harness that venom & please remember that no-one, including their mom, wants to spend time reading something boring. I personally would rather get bit by a venomous spider and spend my time flailing in desperation from the pain all the way to my death than read your boring status update. Not feeling creative? Then look to what's trendy and play along. This is the importance of a hashtag, people.
  6. Get your business all linked up. Social media sites allow for spots to display your website link & act as leaders to your website. That's awesome, indeed. However, also surrounding yourself with a plethora of trustworthy bloggers is awesome as well. You can get them to not only write about you and link you up, but they can also match your PR and marketing efforts beautifully. Sometimes, especially in my profession, people want to know how many in-house links you have dropping your name or business or whatever. Hypothetically speaking, these other in-links contribute to your total website's reach and/or potential. It's like adding you and your contacts plus them & their contacts. Permanent links rock harder than that horse of yours with the bayonet attached to his head. Take Mama Horses and Bayonets for example. I'm a one-man show/stable and rarely have the time to edit my stuff, therefore eliminating the possibility that I may in the future un-link you.
  7. Marketing is essential in all business. It's equally important to keep up with the younger generations. They're the wave of the future and possible customers of yours. Hire a pro which will take all your venomous social media pain away. It's a heck of a lot cheaper to hire someone for a couple hundred dollars a month via outsourcing than to put someone on your permanent payroll which requires at least $40K annually. I am available for consulting, by the way. Simply look to your right & drop me a few lines via the "Contact Me" widget. In this economy, the more moolah the merrier for Mr. Ed. Again, he's got a serious sharks with laser beams situation that needs to be addressed. Not to mention he's been bitten by those venomous social media webby spiders. Marvel's newest character on the block is totally Spider-Centaur-Man, who can either take you out by web or maneur slinging. 
Then, join the Avenger Initiative. We are the crazy people  ;o)

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