Baby, do you dare to do this?
Cuz' I'm coming at you like a dark horse... with a bayonet... Obviously.
Katy Perry keeps blowing my mind with all this horse magic. I was totally expecting a witchy undertone to this video. Then, last week she came out with this iPhone app called Dark Horse Cam by AmCam and that's when Queen Katy Nefertiti Perry took her throne.
Check out that app by the way! It takes your photos and makes them look all fun and Egyptian and stuff. Mister Ed desperately wants to take some selfies.
So, at this current status I am really upset I don't have an iPhone. Also, a makeup tutorial on this makeup look for Halloween next year would be awesome. Now, who wants to be on my YouTube channel so I can do it on someone? Please! I beg you! I shall beg until I can do someone's eyes up like that.
I know you saw it! Katy Perry makes a bayonet of fury with the heel of her shoe! Mister Ed totes loves it. Then, to top it all off, she names the tiger Kitty Purry. This video is totally awesome. Let's not even get into the fact that I think I'm pretty good at shower singing the chorus. My neighbors can hear me ro-oh- oh- oh- ar...
Any who, let's talk Halloween.
All the tiger-ness inspires the J-ness. There I was a couple of Friday nights ago and someone came in looking for makeup to do a tiger look for Halloween. Coincidence? I think not, y'all. The lovely ladies showed me this here picture & we went to town recreating it. The final result was nothing short of ahhh-mazing!
No, I can't say I did the steps exactly like what Radiant Beauty depicts here. I'm an artist and we all differ on steps and techniques. I can't even say I used the same colors or products.
But, what I will say is this: I'm in love with how pretty this tiger look still makes you look. It's got the right amount of highlighting and contouring, meanwhile still looking like a beautifully recognizable female human. Don't get me wrong. Becoming a full-on tiger is really cool, too. Let's just say that this look is more wearable and sexier than others.
I'm Twitter searching Mr. Ed & all that comes up is Snowden. Aargh. Now the NSA is all up in my stable. Thanks ;o(
— Horses and Bayonets (@FewerHorsesNBay) June 24, 2013
Ya' know, I don't even want to comment about the NSA or the government spying on us.
However, since they can technically already see me typing whatevs on my computer du jour... what can it hurt? It's not like I don't do social media. If the government really wanted to know what un-interesting me is up to, then so be it. Surely they know Mister Ed is a Master Baiter. Oh, get your minds out of the gutter. He's a pro-fisherman, don't cha' know? Due to the unfair attachment of bayonets to his head, he prefers spear fishing for obvious reasons. Sometimes when casting the line, he gets it caught in his mane tail feathers. I've been pleading with him to stop the twerking. It's so embarrassing...
There are a few things that come to mind that I'd like to voice to our government, though.
~ The partisan-ness needs to stop! Can't we all just be Americans, gosh darn it all?! Nothing gets done and all our taxpayer dollars are paying for it. Duh. Too extreme in anything is bad news. Let's meet in the middle & rally around our Constitution. Libertarians unite... Ya' know, probably back in the day our founding fathers wanted the human race to continue sans the whole killing each other part. Which leads me into the next bullet point...
~ I heard somewhere that younger generations think that gay marriage is an equal rights issue. You, sir, are correct. The last time I checked there was this thing called "separation of church and state". Otherwise, what's the harm in my kid praying at school? Geez. I don't even care if you disagree religiously because that indeed, is not the point. Just because we allow rainbow marriages in this country, I don't personally think it's going to turn my kids gay. Even if it did, I'd love and support them nonetheless. Then we could have awesome conversations, they'd be my best friend & give me fabulous fashion advice. God doesn't preach hate in the edition of the Bible that I read. We allow every religion under the sun in this country. At this point in the evolution process, it's whatevs. Seriously. It might not be how I roll personally, but I can respect & love you just like a healthy political debate. You deserve love & happiness just like everyone else. I'm willing to put money on the fact that the gay divorce ratio is much, much less than our hetero homies. Us man / woman relationships have been ruining the sacrament of marriage since... well, Adam & Eve. Men simply don't understand us women with a brain. Put the toilet seat down & for argument's sake buy toothpaste with a flippable, attached lid & we're good to move on to the next topic...
~ Maybe you can work a few more days a year, rather than being out of session. That would be great, mmmkay?
~ Make me some money! Get our interest rates back up & let's focus on this economy, for the love of all things holy. I'm over here trying to make a family and stuff. I'm still trying to work on a career and such. A mortgage is in my future. I know it. Oh well. I suppose if my family can make it through this long rough patch, we may end up being extremely successful, errrr.... this is what I'm banking on & hoping for at least. It's way better to be optimistic rather than all "Woe is me". No, I don't feel sorry for you because I'm going through the exact same thing. The public PSA for the day is that bloggers don't make money when they first start out. This is truth, peeps.
~ Allow me to play Devil's advocate on the right to bear arms. For me, I'm more a right to bare Michelle Obama arms, but whatevs. Muscles are hot while anorexics are not! A burglary recently happened really close to my house while a child was home & you better believe I'm checking into pistol packing, concealed weapons permits & the whole nine yards. In the infantry, a.k.a. the front lines, I can see why you'd want an oozie & horses and bayonets & muskets & militias. The more the merrier to defend our precious freedom. However, I agree that the general public doesn't need access to automatic weaponry or magazine clips carrying 500 rounds. If you're packing for defense purposes, one or two shots in your perpetrator does the trick. Any thing more & I consider you cray cray. You, sir, if you're shooting deer in the wilderness with a machine gun... you got problems, bro.
What if you wore your google glasses while on the toilet? Either the NSA or some dude in the matrix can see you baby, doing your business...
— Horses and Bayonets (@FewerHorsesNBay) June 6, 2013
With that being said, Dos Equis should give me a lifetime supply of this ballistic, bayonet-supporting beverage. Just so you know, a bayonet could technically be thrown or launched into what one would call a ballistic missile...
Anyway...
As long as you la la la la la la la love Q-tips, read on my darlings!
Q-tips Precision Tips, $3.29
Get them here from Walgreens.
The first person to comment below this blog post or tweet to @makeupthebay with #qtips gets a pack of Precision Tips as well as a purse pack of Q-tips.
Q-tips Purse Pack around $.99
Mostly found in-store @ major retailers
Precision Tips are awesome for manicures because they're more precise & less cottony at the tip. The purse packs are awesome for traveling, purses in general and especially on-location makeup artists.
If I said your smokey makeup look could look better by way of Q-tips, would you hold it against me?
(I think not.)
1- I work really hard for my blog page hits. No, Mom, I'm not searching LOL Cats all day long. Although, maybe sometimes I am. What?! I'm truthful at least...
Anyone who says that their page hits come naturally to them is in fact, straight up lying to you. Either that or they're a viral YouTube star or have lots of money for people to do it for them. I speak the truth, friends.
You've got to find places to post your links, and then you've actually got to type in that computer thingy, be all creative and stuff so people will read your updates, and then BAM! Post the hyperlink. Duh.
So, you want my advice?
Join groups & communities on places like Google +, Facebook, LinkedIn, etc.... then post in them. Be sure to write them down so it's easy to make a list and cross them off, so to speak. "I got so many Internets that sometimes I'd forget them all," just said George Bush. You know you can also create your own groups & communities, but the key to being an online success is persistence.
2- I've hired a Pinterest consultant. Look here, buddies. Social media is confusing. Most people don't even know what a hashtag is. So now that I've kind of got this blog thing down as well as my Twitter Ninja certification, there are several moving parts to my business & how I market myself that I simply don't even have the time to do it all. All of it needs to be expanded on. This is exactly what I wanted & expected to happen. Amen.
While so many people are hopping on the social media bandwagon, understand that not everyone can be an expert in everything. New social sites and ways to communicate are being created on the daily. People have their niches.
If someone were to ask me what I was, it would totally be a Twitter Ninja.
Which leads me into my last confession for the day... Oooh, I'm nervous...
3- I give a crap about this country. So, I watch politics & try to educate my kids on democracy and stuff. I genuinely care about how this economy is affecting how I can provide for them. I remember the days when I easily made money. Now I've got to really work at it... & it sucks.... hard. What also sucks is wondering if my kids will even have social security benefits to retire on.
So, it just so happened that I was in the right place at the right time. No one told me to do it, but I knew if I acted on my instincts it could lead to more page hits.
Some of you who followed me for a while could of guessed about it, but I never directly associated myself with them. Just call me Ms. Opportunistic...
There are a few others, but they need a lot of work. People know that if they use hashtags I'll retweet them regarding their respective account. Guess what? People like getting high fives from Michelle Obama's Arms when they tweet a pic of their arms in progress after a grueling workout session. They think it's awesome & so do I. Keep up the good work, girl!
People also know that if they follow Horses and Bayonets, for example, I'm constantly re-tweeting what everyone in the world is saying with regards to this awesome political meme. Instead of them having to hashtag search & then search all the variations like the words with spaces in between them (ie: "Horses and Bayonets" or #horsesandbayonets) to figure out what everyone is saying, I make it simple for them.
All these accounts also act as leaders to my beauty blog in my Twitter profile & it's also a place where I can post links to my blog and get page hits. I'm a stinkin' Internet genius, or just determined to be a success when I grow up. Either way, it's all fun.
Now, with all that being said, Binders Full of Men on Facebook no one likes! But on Twitter, my weirdness has found a home. Probably on Facebook my family doesn't like me advertising my binders full of men. Maybe it's viewed as "unclassy", but not everyone in the world is with partner. Geez. Well, I say rock on with your girl power. Furthermore, my actual past doesn't actually live in this binder. It's full of pictures of hot men who exemplify the male human form. Most are celebrities simply because they enjoy being professionally photographed. All Binders Full of Men actually is is my feminist response to Binders Full of Women. If men can binder women amongst all this vertical organization, then us women can & should house their men in binders as well. With that being said, I don't even think Romney meant it in a bad way if you were to actually review how he used it. I personally take zero offense to it. There is a glass ceiling that exists, people. Just admit it. He just wanted people to know that he supports women in the workplace. But look at the virality of what he said. Search YouTube & you will find tons of videos created on the topic. Search Google and there's hoards of articles.
"You better believe I'll try to monopolize on it," just said Pinky from Pinky & the Brain. He lives inside my head, you know...
If you've got a blog or a business, but also have a thing for Leopard Print & Stilettos or Aliens & Bacon, I guarantee Twitter would be a good place to start such an account. Diversify your marketing tactics. However if you're not passionate about aliens & bacon, my suggestion is to NOT start a Twitter account about it. The golden ticket lays in what you yourself are passionate about. Make marketing your business enjoyable & you'll be tempted to do it more often, sometimes even obsessively. Thanks. Thanks a lot, Twitter. Thanks. Thanks a lot, Presidential Debates. Thanks. Thanks a lot, cosmetics.
Furthermore, since I'm willing to pimp myself out in all sorts of ways in this economy, short of Chingy & Snoop Dogg actually escorting me to the Holiday Inn to meet some strange bedfellows, I am available for marketing, advertising & social media consulting. Holler! Dollar, dollar bills, y'all!
When one spends any amount of time on dictionary.com looking up the definitions of Democratic, Republican or Diplomatic, the definitions oddly sound similar. In response to this article from Huffington Post saying that Michelle Obama's bangs are "purely democratic" in a political sense, I would beg to differ. They are actually inanimate, attached to a scalp. But, if I had to guess, we'd peg them as purely diplomatic.(I will explain later. I promise.)
Michelle Obama looks gorgeous in Jason Wu! AP Photo / Jacquelyn Martin
Isn't it enough that our government makes a mockery of itself on a public stage? Can't we all just get along? Can't we all do something to fix this depressed economy? This recession could only be compared by the younger voters as something similar to the Great Depression where horses and bayonets once ruled. Well, I am among the young vote. I am not alone. One could consider me a swing vote based on the candidate at hand. Though my voter card might have only one political party attached to it, let's just say that both parties do things I don't agree with. "Swinger" was an unavailable choice to pick from when registering and to some it reminds them of sausage parties and other things that involve a lot of participants. I am a force to be reckoned with and I know how to Twitter. The government can only blame themselves for not banning Twitter from existing. More and more, real people's views are being heard and recognized. Over and over, the younger generation is leading more towards facts and real time opinions than biased media mogul's propaganda.
Soldiers using bayonets
This article will probably end up being pretty long-winded. I owe it to anyone who has risked themselves or their family for this great America. My grandfather fought in World War II and received a purple heart. Let's just say "Thank you" to all of them right this second. For it is only from their courage that I am able to sit behind this computer du jour and write about well... our rights. Thank you, Constitution. I'm sure that when any war was being fought, our soldiers didn't want to only save 1/2 of America. Whether you are Democrat or Republican I really don't think that was the first thing on their mind. Probably the first thing on their minds was "Send more horses and bayonets. Drones, zeppelins, muskets and militias could be really useful right about now."
(Follow Horses and Bayonets, the Twitter account @fewerhorsesnbay here.)
I find it hilarious that media outlets pick and choose, so to speak, who exactly to promote. Read this article where media outlets credit @FirstLadysBangsfor being the first Twitter account as well as @MichellesBangs. Well, as curator of the Original (meaning first) Michelle Obama's Bangs Twitter account @MObamasBangs, I promise to remain unbiased and let both side's views through. Bang lovers unite, man! It's all in good fun for the love of bangs. Several are allowed to exist, however I am a little jealous how many followers these accounts got. One could look up creation-date and time stamps on Hoot Suite. Just sayin'. Now, if we want to get technical, Cattt changed her handle to @mrsobamasbangs around the same time I created mine, but because it wasn't a new account, we actually don't have a time stamp available. Any who, she told me she changed her Twitter handle due to adoration of First Lady Obama and her haircut. I am all about giving credit where credit is due. Cattt is a cutie and you all should go follow her. I told her she needs a job in social media.
Believe it or not, some people do not know how to Twitter. Hash tags are mysterious. Do you use it? Do you not? Can you search Twitter's search bar with using spaces in between the words? Yes, yes you can. Michelle Obama's Bangs vow to re-tweet anything with the hash tag #MichelleObamasBangs attached, and several variations of these keywords.
In the end, let's all peg Michelle Obama's Bangs as "purely diplomatic" unrelated to one political party. Again, they're inanimate but attached to one very classy lady. Whether you agree with her political agenda or not, she did not rise to this power without doing something great for herself and her country. She is highly educated. Has every one forgotten her credentials? For the love of this great country, respect her. Her bangs have not forgotten 1/2 of the country because they vote Republican. They know that to be a great woman or force of power, one must remain diplomatic. Plain and simple.
