Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Confessions of a makeup artist

Welcome to yet another confessions of a makeup artist! I'm seriously nervous to even confess some of this. Read on and you'll see why.

1- I work really hard for my blog page hits. No, Mom, I'm not searching LOL Cats all day long. Although, maybe sometimes I am. What?! I'm truthful at least...

Anyone who says that their page hits come naturally to them is in fact, straight up lying to you. Either that or they're a viral YouTube star or have lots of money for people to do it for them. I speak the truth, friends.

You've got to find places to post your links, and then you've actually got to type in that computer thingy, be all creative and stuff so people will read your updates, and then BAM! Post the hyperlink. Duh.

So, you want my advice?
Join groups & communities on places like Google +, Facebook, LinkedIn, etc.... then post in them. Be sure to write them down so it's easy to make a list and cross them off, so to speak. "I got so many Internets that sometimes I'd forget them all," just said George Bush. You know you can also create your own groups & communities, but the key to being an online success is persistence.

Did I ever mention I heart bacon?!

2- I've hired a Pinterest consultant. Look here, buddies. Social media is confusing. Most people don't even know what a hashtag is. So now that I've kind of got this blog thing down as well as my Twitter Ninja certification, there are several moving parts to my business & how I market myself that I simply don't even have the time to do it all. All of it needs to be expanded on. This is exactly what I wanted & expected to happen. Amen.

However, I'm bringing in Big Dog Anna from White Glove Social Media for some much needed coaching & advising. Pinterest is what she specializes in.

While so many people are hopping on the social media bandwagon, understand that not everyone can be an expert in everything. New social sites and ways to communicate are being created on the daily. People have their niches.

If someone were to ask me what I was, it would totally be a Twitter Ninja.

Which leads me into my last confession for the day... Oooh, I'm nervous...


3- I give a crap about this country. So, I watch politics & try to educate my kids on democracy and stuff. I genuinely care about how this economy is affecting how I can provide for them. I remember the days when I easily made money. Now I've got to really work at it... & it sucks.... hard. What also sucks is wondering if my kids will even have social security benefits to retire on.

So, it just so happened that I was in the right place at the right time. No one told me to do it, but I knew if I acted on my instincts it could lead to more page hits.

Some of you who followed me for a while could of guessed about it, but I never directly associated myself with them. Just call me Ms. Opportunistic...

I am Horses and Bayonets, @fewerhorsesnbay.
I am Binders Full of Men, @bindersfullomen.
I am Michelle Obama's Arms, @ladyobamasarms.
I am Michelle Obama's Bangs, @mobamasbangs.
I am Thor Thursday, @thorthursday.

There are a few others, but they need a lot of work. People know that if they use hashtags I'll retweet them regarding their respective account. Guess what? People like getting high fives from Michelle Obama's Arms when they tweet a pic of their arms in progress after a grueling workout session. They think it's awesome & so do I. Keep up the good work, girl!

People also know that if they follow Horses and Bayonets, for example, I'm constantly re-tweeting what everyone in the world is saying with regards to this awesome political meme. Instead of them having to hashtag search & then search all the variations like the words with spaces in between them (ie: "Horses and Bayonets" or #horsesandbayonets) to figure out what everyone is saying, I make it simple for them.

All these accounts also act as leaders to my beauty blog in my Twitter profile & it's also a place where I can post links to my blog and get page hits. I'm a stinkin' Internet genius, or just determined to be a success when I grow up. Either way, it's all fun.

Now, with all that being said, Binders Full of Men on Facebook no one likes! But on Twitter, my weirdness has found a home. Probably on Facebook my family doesn't like me advertising my binders full of men. Maybe it's viewed as "unclassy", but not everyone in the world is with partner. Geez. Well, I say rock on with your girl power. Furthermore, my actual past doesn't actually live in this binder. It's full of pictures of hot men who exemplify the male human form. Most are celebrities simply because they enjoy being professionally photographed. All Binders Full of Men actually is is my feminist response to Binders Full of Women. If men can binder women amongst all this vertical organization, then us women can & should house their men in binders as well. With that being said, I don't even think Romney meant it in a bad way if you were to actually review how he used it. I personally take zero offense to it. There is a glass ceiling that exists, people. Just admit it. He just wanted people to know that he supports women in the workplace. But look at the virality of what he said. Search YouTube & you will find tons of videos created on the topic. Search Google and there's hoards of articles.

"You better believe I'll try to monopolize on it," just said Pinky from Pinky & the Brain. He lives inside my head, you know...

If you've got a blog or a business, but also have a thing for Leopard Print & Stilettos or Aliens & Bacon, I guarantee Twitter would be a good place to start such an account. Diversify your marketing tactics. However if you're not passionate about aliens & bacon, my suggestion is to NOT start a Twitter account about it. The golden ticket lays in what you yourself are passionate about. Make marketing your business enjoyable & you'll be tempted to do it more often, sometimes even obsessively. Thanks. Thanks a lot, Twitter. Thanks. Thanks a lot, Presidential Debates. Thanks. Thanks a lot, cosmetics.

Furthermore, since I'm willing to pimp myself out in all sorts of ways in this economy, short of Chingy & Snoop Dogg actually escorting me to the Holiday Inn to meet some strange bedfellows, I am available for marketing, advertising & social media consulting. Holler! Dollar, dollar bills, y'all!

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