Cannibals Amongst Us

As much as I'd like to write a tutorial or make up review, I just can't help but share this with you all.

Aaaaargh. With stories like these popping up all the time, I hate to admit I live in Florida, errr I mean HannibalLectorVille. It's something about our location to the equator that keeps bringing weirdos to reside amongst us I swear. Watch your cheeks, people. Guard them with your life. Sleep with one eye open and a fork in your hand ready for battle because zombies are for real, yo!
In some countries your cheeks are considered a delicacy. Call me names and beat me up, but please don't eat my already depleting collagen reserves in my cheeks...

Rudy Eugene, Ronald Poppo

From Miami Dade County, we bring you this whack job Rudy Eugene (featured in the far left pic) who was shot to death earlier after snarling at officers when ordered to stop eating a homeless guy's face. That's right. I couldn't make this crap up if I tried. Rudy was believed to be under the influence of "bath salts", which are not really the bath salts you put in your bath for relaxation purposes.

Watch the Video!

For some reason, parents, the code name is bath salts because they look like salt in a jar and if you're over the age of 18, you can buy these over the counter mainly at smoke shops. It's unclear what makes up this dangerous drug, but Dr. Drew said it resembles methamphetamine (a stimulant) mixed with ecstasy and can create irritability mixed with hallucinations lasting a couple of days. I just have to ask, what makes that kind of high so enticing to people? Regulators in the U.S. need to get on the banning bandwagon stat. Dr. Drew also had a guest call in whose husband abused the salts and the now ex-wife said that even though her ex is not taking them anymore, his entire demeanor is forever altered. His brain changed.

Ronald Poppo, the homeless guy, last I knew couldn't speak and was in critical condition needing several surgeries with only his goatee remaining intact. Did I also mention that Rudy was naked? It is unclear what made Rudy come into contact with Poppo in the first place. Rudy was from North Miami Beach and liked to go to South Beach for Memorial Day and Poppo frequented the bridge near where the attack happened. I guess he was the victim of not only cannibalism but also of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Rudy's friends are also sticking up for him saying that he was a really nice guy and this incident was totally out of character. Toxicology reports won't be back for a couple of weeks, so the reason for the attack is a little vague as of right now. Parents, be careful because there is no test out yet that can detect the "bath salt" or spice (the fake marijuana) drug.
Knowledge is power. Increase awareness, decrease zombies.

American Idol Finale Recap

Wow! It's been a long, exciting week in music, ehh?

And the winner of American Idol is...
(drum roll, please)

Scotty McCreary! Errr, I mean his spitting image doppelganger Phillip Phillips! Congratulations. Did I mention that his parents won the naming your kid a way overly way way way over the top overly redundant name award? He.He...

Phil Phil won with a record breaking 132 million votes. That's a lot of votes, man. Parents everywhere with tween and teen girls can rest a little better at night knowing that any cell phone overages caused by voting repeatedly are soon to go away. And, for any parents out there whose daughters just developed carpal tunnel this week, well, now you know why... Also, you could alternatively tell your daughters to be the first girl to set up a website asking him to next year's prom like Cady Eimer did to Justin Bieber this year. What?! It worked for her. If you missed that deliciousness, search my blog for it and it shall reveal itself.

Phil Phil was also very cute when he was crying and couldn't finish the song at the end, just in case you missed it.






Any who, the American Idol Finale was up to it's usual tricks of getting people to like Randy Jackson's catchphrases. This year was, "You could sing the phonebook!" & "Dude, you sung the phonebook!" So, of course, AI taped all the finalists literally singing the phonebook.
Click to View the Ridonkulous Yourself!

Randy's other catchphrases that didn't quite catch on this year were:

• "Dude, you could sing my obituary!"
• "You could sing about my urinary incontinence!"
• "Dude, you've got karaoke night won!"
• "Man, you could be the over the top singer in my church choir!"
• "You look like hell, but your voice...like butter!"
• "Wow, you've got singing in the shower on lock!"

Now I wonder why none of those stuck.

Moving on, Anyone see Lisa Rinna in the crowd? When the camera sped past her, I thought something looked a little unusual with her lips again.

Ooh! A really funny part of the night was when my five year old son was watching Jennifer Holliday and Jessica Sanchez intently. At the end when they were belting out the last notes trying to one up each other, he looks at me so matter of factly and says, "Mommy, these ladies are crazy." I couldn't contain myself. I laughed SO hard. It's times like these that I wish I had the camera rolling. Only later to use the footage to embarrass him with once he gets a girlfriend or married, of course. Just kidding.
Click & Look for "Crazy" Starting at 2:39 in the video!

AI also took the time to show us the inside of Steven Tyler's trailer and the walls were hot pink. I liked it but the verdict is still out on what the male population on earth has to say. With that being said, I love Steven Tyler and if there's one person who could pull it off other than Perez Hilton, would be Mr. Tyler. As some of you may not know, my claim to fame was being backstage at an Aerosmith concert in Tampa where those huge lips graced my forehead. Yup, he kissed me and I haven't washed my forehead since. Kidding.

All in all, this year's AI was great, but not like last year's. There was no Lady Gaga diving off cliffs. That, my friend, was awesome. Click for the 2011 performance!

Luv,
~J.~

Grandma's Jail Time in Review

Again, another story that's like googling at a car accident scene:

Today we're skipping generations and starting "Grandmas is Review". Where do I begin? First off, my stomach is churning as I'm blogging this, but...

This is Sandra Layne, who is sitting in jail with no bond for open murder charges somewhere near Detroit. Below is Jonathan Hoffman, her grandson, who she shot eight times. Apparently he got shot, then called 911 for help, then she shot some more, some more bullets hitting him & two other bullets missing him for a grand total of ten shots.

It's being reported like this:

Jonathan apparently was starting to get into drugs as well as sell them. Then, this other kid goes crazy off of that fake marijuana called spice and shoots up his family. Sandra watches this unfold on the news. Later (No, I don't know exactly how much later...) cops get called to her house when grandson is making a scene in the street cussing. Sandra tells cops she is scared of her grandson and she can't control him. Now, Sandra buys a gun and a couple of months later the two get into an argument. Now her grandson is dead.

Jonathan, who may I remind you is 17. Like most kids I'm sure he rebelled and got into trouble. But shooting your own flesh and blood? Why, Sandra, did you continue to let this kid live with you if you were scared of him?

Dear Parents of Jonathan Hoffman:

You guys are total tool bags for putting your own selfish needs before your son's. Who "settles" into their new place in a new state halfway across the country from Detroit without their kids during their senior year?! Furthermore, most parents aren't that cruel to move during their senior year. So, the both of you had to move? I don't get it. When you get a divorce, don't you try to move away from each other, not near each other?! Obviously your lack of teaching your kid to respect his elders and not mouth off made Grandma go nuts. What? Just saying. I am in no way endorsing this Grandma, just being honest.

It's unfortunate what happens to kids during a divorce and apparently Jonathan got the short end of the stick, ending up at an alternative high school where drugs and disinterested kids go who are not graduating high school on their own, with their own will to succeed. It seems to me that this poor kid just needed some guidance and parental attention. Ever seen that good dad commercial where at the end they say "just being there is enough"? Well, it's kind of like that. Kids ultimately just want their parents approval and guidance. Now, if I were 17 you'd never ever hear me utter those words, though.

Hey news channels, why don't you report on the effects of breaking up a marriage as much as you're reporting on Obama being for gay marriage? It's my opinion that if you can vote, live in this country and die for your country, you should have some civil rights to enjoy the many benefits of being married on paper (such as health insurance). It's not like I'm setting up a spy cam and being forced to watch what goes on in between your sheets. Do what you want!

It's also my opinion that the older we get, the less the emphasis is on staying together. Seriously. Poor kid above. Pray for these people.

For Story from MSNBC, Click!

Gator Boots, Gucci Suits & the Billboard Music Awards

Gator boots with the pimped out Gucci suits
Ain't got no job, but I stay sharp
Can't pay my rent, cause all my money's spent
But that's okay, cause I'm Still Fly...

Got a quarter tank of gas - in my new E class
But that's alright, cause I'm gon' ride
Got everythang - in my momma name
But I'm Hood Rich - dadah-dadah da-dah da-dah da-dah

Yes, while the above words are oddly reminiscent of senior year spring break, they still occasionally play in my head today. For all my friends that thought back then I was either mildly crazy or a little ghetto for loving Lil' Wayne, eat your heart out!
Weezy, errr... I mean Lil' Wayne took home 4 awards at the Billboard Music Awards 2012. Yay! His awards included Top Male Artist (and beat out Justin Bieber- Can you believe it?!), Top Rap Artist, Top Rap Album (The Carter IV), and an award for being on Kelly Rowland's "Motivation".

Anyway, for those of you that missed the Awards show, allow me to break it down to what I consider to be the most important...

Justin Bieber got Most Social Artist, which is really no surprise at all.
Bieber also won "Best Billboard Performance", with votes weighing in at over 41%.
Bieb's Performing "Boyfriend", Click!

Also, Justin surprised one of his fans, Cady Eimer with a date to the awards show after she started the website onelesslonelyprom.com asking Justin Bieber to be her date to prom. Only the poor thing probably thought she was totally getting dissed by JB until the DJ played this video for her:
Watch her expression here, Click! (so cute!)
Anyway, congrats!




Getty Images

Adele stole the show with 12 wins including Top Artist. She looked so happy and grateful at the show. This chick deserves nothing but good.







For all you party rockers out there, LMFAO won Song of the Year for "Party Rock Anthem" while Lady Gaga got Top Dance Artist & Dance Album. Rihanna won Top Streaming Artist while Nicki Minaj (her name is Onika, but you can call her Nikki...heehee) won Top Streaming Video with "Super Bass". Jordin Sparks gave tribute to Whitney Houston singing "I will always love you".

Finally, Katy Perry got the Spotlight Award. For Perry having 5 songs from an album going #1, she ties Michael Jackson who had the record last.
Katy's "Wide Awake" Performance, Click!

Katy, who tweeted about her "smokin hot date" who came with her to the show was none other than Grandma! On her acceptance speech, she gave love to Grams and let the crowd know she couldn't wait to do shots with her at the after party. Lol. How adorable.










Congratulations to all the nominees and winners at the Billboard Music Awards!
ATTN: Artists... I am still for hire should you need a makeup artist for next year :O)  ...
LMAO, not to be confused with LMFAO...

TTYL, XOX! (Thanks Bella Thorne & Zendaya for another song that likes to stay in my head...Click for Mash Up Video! )
P.S.- LMHO stands for laughing my head off, in case you were wondering... I was!

Luv,
~J.~

Walgreens Beauty Sale Haul

Revlon Luxurious Color Smoky Crayon, On Clearance like $2.00
Walgreens.com Buy One, Get One 50% off, Click Here

I bought this Revlon Luxurious Color Smoky Crayon & Liner IN-STORE ON CLEARANCE for cheap. Buy #007 in "Bronze Smoke".

Aveeno Living Color Shampoo, $2.00
Available In-Store Only

Studio 35 Beauty Cuticle Remover & Pusher, $1.99
Walgreens.com, Click!

I'm pretty sure I got duped. I don't think this is on sale. Waa. Waa.. Waa...

Milani Lip Flash, $2.99
Walgreens.com, Click!

I got this lovely Red color with a hint of orange to brighten up any drab red routine.

#03 in "Flash Light"

Normally $7.49!

Revlon Custom Eyes Mascara, On Clearance like $2.00!
Walgreens.com Buy One Get One 50% off

BEST price is IN-STORE. I bought Waterproof #921 "Blackest Black".

Wet N Wild Idol Eyes, $.99
Walgreens.com. Click!

The colors you must buy:
-Pixie, nice frosty vanilla for a ONE STEP all over color or just underbrow and center corner of eye. Simply fill in all over and buff in with your finger or a fluffy eyeshadow brush. Makes a GREAT BASE for eyeshadows... will make eyeshadows stay on longer. Say goodbye to creasy shadows moving all over your eye!
-Techno, A nice, fun purple with irridescent blue/pink.
-Distress, An eyecatching navy metallic. I recommend lining with the darker shades Distress or Techno and if you want, go crazy with filling in your eyelid. Put Pixie in crease and below brow.

Toodles!You need these in colors Pixie, Techno & Distress!

Eat Your Heart Out

This is either way too funny or purely coincidental, but...

Newscaster Robin Meade for HLNTV just reported an all-you-can-eat dispute THIS morning!

*NOT the actual restaurant's Sign* LOL.

Apparently somewhere in Wisconsin a Chinese restaurant stopped providing this weirdo guy with more fish. I think it said he had like 14 pieces and wanted more, people!
What do you think about a restaurant telling you to take it easy?! Obesity activists unite!
The server actually reported that this guy is a problem customer, though.
The link or the video isn't posted yet for me to share the actual story with you. Waa. Waa. Waa...

J&D's Bacon Lip Balm, $2.50
Buy it Here!

Now, for the bacon lover in us all (Can you tell I'm hungry?!) I happened across this gem. From the makers of Baconnaise & Bacon Salt comes...
BACON FLAVORED LIP BALM!
Can you see an all-you-can-lick frenzy starting?
This lip balm is also vegetarian friendly. YAY!

MMMvelopes, $6.77 / pack of 25
Buy Here!

Alternatively, lick these bacon flavored envelopes!
Hmmm. Now let me think who I can "snail mail" just so I can use these.
C'mon and do your part to keep the postal service errr, well... in service!

 

Or, make this recipe: Bacon Cheeseburger Meatloaf, Click for Recipe!

Paula Deen's Bacon Cheeseburger Meatloaf

Speaking of foody products that I LOVE...

Philosophy's 2 Piece Set, $18
Buy it Here!

Cinnamon Buns 3-in-1 Shampoo, Bubble Bath & Body Wash

*AND*

Cinnamon Buns Highly Emollient Lip Balm Set



Demeter's Cinnamon Bun Pick-Me-Up Cologne Spray, $6-$39.50
Buy it Here!



This scent is awesome. They also have a room spray. I like to spray this on my pillow before bed. For some reason this smell comforts me. I don't know why!


Anyway, allow me to leave you with a pic of this yummy goodness... One can dream.



Krispy Kreme Burgers

No, I don't have the recipe, but it seems pretty explanatory... burger, cheese, bacon, 2 donuts... condiments to your liking... lol.

Luv,

~J.~