Wednesday, August 22, 2012

How To Appear (More) Skinny 2

Can't we all heed this advice?!
In all actuality, we should be at peace with ourselves. But, there's a war a-raging in my brain... I was wondering if it's the same for you.

I say to myself,"Gee, I love you! You're so awesome and fantastic!" Then, one split second later I say, "Go to the gym. Quit laying around the house, ya' big fatty! No pain, no gain!" I then turn on the T.V. since I procrastinate going to the gym. "Ooh, that cheeseburger from BK looks awesome. I need to order one with my bacon sundae next time I go. Wait, it'll just end up on my saddlebags. Might as well smear it in!"

Whether you think you're Angelina Jolie or just want to look like her, below are some MORE ways to appear skinnier. Per your request, of course!

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1. Spanx and the Kymaro Body Shaper. Need I say more?

Timing is everything & I am thrilled to announce the deal of a century...

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2. Wear your workout clothes around, even if you don’t go work out. I do this often. What?! Did I mention they stretch?!  
3. Vitamins always make me feel healthier. Search my blog for "skin healthy supplements".
4. Make up excuses as to why you can't go out so no-one will see that freshman 15. For some of us, it's the new mama 20.

5. Then, start a blog... like I did! (Oh, I can't... I've got articles to write, my Internet broke & computer guy's coming over, etc. The excuses are endless...)

6. Self Tanner. I don't know why, but fat looks great tan. And moisturized. Don't forget to exfoliate your skin before application and focus on the cellulite. Massaging increases circulation.

7. Caffeine is a diuretic. Bye bye water weight.
Click for more info.
I love me some Rockstar Energy drinks! Xdurance with only 10 calories is my favorite these days. I don't need just any energy. I need performance energy, of course! (Lol.)

8. There's also Diurex which you can buy at any pharmacy. Don't use them all the time, though. It's a temporary effect and please note I am not a doctor advocating this for weight loss. Just water weight. Quite perfect for when "Aunt Flow" comes into town.
9. Buy a couple clothes that look and actually are way too big on you. No fat guys in little coats here.

10. Pose in the mirror numerous times until you've found a few solid poses you can debut in pics.

Sure, celebrities can go get liposuction whenever they want. But they've all got signature poses and they all know which is their best side. You should, too.

The "Side Angle with a Shoulder Tucked in Forward, Hand on Hip" pose is a fave of mine pictured left. Keira Knightley doesn't really need to be doing it here in this picture! Someone get her a bacon sundae or two.

As always, healthy skinny is the way to go.
Muscles are hot, anorexics are not!

If no one's told you lately... I think you're perfect just the way you are.


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